Family doesn't respect limitations I set for puppy?

4 month old golden retriever pup. I have clear rules and limitations, but I feel that my family members don't respect them. I do not want to say things like "Never feed the dog," but this leniency backfires when someone unknowingly rewards a begging behavior or an invasion of space. I don't want to tell people "Don't ever horseplay with him," but again this backfires when the my sister gives him a belly rub, oblivious to the fact that he's nipping her skirt. Again, this applies to many things, such as jumping, nipping, hyperactive energy, or dominant behavior. I feel constant anxiety at these things, and my frustration is clear in the corrections I give people. I know this is counterproductive, that my agitated energy only frustrates my dog and my friends, but I am unsure how to proceed. Do I let the behaviors continue with trust in the knowledge that my dog will one day respect me enough to spread his limitations to those that associate with me? Or do I have to worry about the unintended attentions to my pup's naughtiness?